DIRTY TALK : THE BEGINNER'S GUIDE
According to a 2015 Australian study conducted by Professor Peter Jonason and his team and published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, 92% of people surveyed would talk during sex. But what is Dirty Talk? What is it exactly?
Focus today on this practice that raises the temperature!
Dirty Talk: Definition
Dirty talk is a practice that consists in saying sentences or words more or less daring during a sexual intercourse. Even if initially Dirty Talk is associated with exclusively crude words, scientists through their study have identified 8 major themes to categorize them. And as you will see, there is something for everyone!
The 8 categories of Dirty Talk
1. First, we find the category of intimate relationships. In other words, these are phrases spoken during the act that have an emotional link.
Examples: "I love you more than anything else", "I think you're really beautiful...", "I love having sex with you".
2. Second category, the so-called "reflex words" or phrases; these words are spoken without our really being aware of them.
Examples: "Oh yes!", "More! Keep going!", "That's good!"
3. The third theme identified by the researchers concerns fantasies. As the name implies, it is about verbally materializing our personal and/or common fantasies.
Examples: "Imagine if someone walked in on us", "Imagine if someone watched us fuck", "Imagine that there are two of us taking care of you".
4. Fourth category: encouragement. No need to draw a picture, it is about the sentences you say to encourage your partner to continue what he/she has started.
Examples: "Please, continue like that!", "Do not stop, it's perfect!"
5. In number 5, we find the instructions.
Examples: "Go harder! Faster!", "Take me from behind",
"Grab my hair".
6. The sixth theme concerns possession. These are phrases that are uttered to emphasize a sense of belonging.
Examples: "You are mine!", "You belong to me...".
7. The penultimate point refers to domination and words that can sound like orders.
Examples: "Do exactly what I tell you", "Lick me / suck me".
8. Finally, the last theme concerns submission. In contrast to domination, this one allows you to offer a lot of freedom to your partner.
Examples: "Do what you want with my body", "Do what you want with me".
How to correctly practice Dirty Talk?
Before playing with words, it is important to discuss it with your partner. You can schedule a time dedicated to this discussion by cutting off all sources of distraction (phone, television etc...) and talk openly about your affinities in this area. During a relationship, don't launch into an improvisation that could damage this moment of sharing if you haven't taken the time to talk about it. Indeed, before embarking on this path, it is important to ensure that the desire is shared. This can be a one-time event or, on the contrary, be part of your long-term desires. Also, don't forget to discuss your respective limits, whether it is about the phrases or the words spoken. If dirty talk can be a source of excitement, it can also cut off any desire if you don't use the words wisely. Once this framework is properly defined, you can let your imaginations do the rest.
Dirty Talk in the sex life
The power of words is sometimes underestimated. And while it can raise the temperature in bed (or elsewhere) during sex, it can also help to raise the excitement before the act. For example, there's nothing to stop you from sexting your partner during the day, just before you meet her at night, to give her a taste of what might be waiting for her when she gets home.
Dirty talk also allows you to access a more liberated part of yourself, sometimes even wilder or more animal if you decide to venture into the territory of raw words. Whatever your personality, there will always be words that resonate with you more than others.
What if I don't have a particular affinity for Dirty Talk?
It's not an end in itself. It is not a prerequisite for living and sharing a moment of pleasure with someone.
Indeed, some people express their pleasure in other ways than words. In fact, it is possible to communicate with your partner non-verbally: by breathing, moaning, looking or even by gestures. Don't worry if you don't have a particular affinity for this practice, you'll always find a way to let your partner know how much you appreciate this moment.
Precautions to take during Dirty Talk
If there is one precaution to take when practicing dirty talk, it is not to fall into cliché or even disrespect towards the other. The practice requires desire (and as for everything in sexuality, the consent of your partner) and listening before and during the report. Don't hesitate to regularly update your relationship by organizing discussion sessions because, as we don't say enough about it, each person's desires can evolve in one direction or another over time. And this is quite natural!
Moreover, if some fears or reticence persist, you can very well start this practice gently, by picking up ideas in the category of intimate links, reflex phrases or encouragement. When you feel more comfortable, you can take it up a notch and try other things if you wish.
I hope these Dirty Talk tips have answered any questions you may have had about the subject.
And remember, the most important thing is to be yourself!
Hey, I'm Jordy, content creator and sex video maker.
My goals: to remove the taboos that exist around sexuality, to break down preconceived ideas and to move towards healthier relationships!