The slow trend is everywhere, with slow cosmetics, slow food and slow fashion, and now it has reached our beds, with slow sex. The aim? To make love more slowly in order to be better connected to the sensations we are experiencing. Pleasure guaranteed – and increased. We’ll tell you how to do it.
Why try slow sex?
Because we have a tendency to rush, to just get through things. Sex is often starter, main and dessert rolled in to one. And why not? We know what we like, and we know our partner’s body and how to give them pleasure. We also know our own bodies, and what works for us. This knowledge isn’t bad, and nor is routine. These things help us find pleasure together easily in our daily lives.
But slow sex is a way of rediscovering ourselves and finding new sensations. It means taking our time in order to better connect to our partner and to our emotions. It means being in the moment and not already thinking about the orgasm which is coming. In other words, slow sex is about making the most of the journey leading to the climax.
To better connect…first disconnect!
In order to better connect to our partner’s body, and to our own, it is good to approach sex as a special moment, free from thoughts and worries, without disturbance from the telephone beeping in the background or the noise of the television.
Create an atmosphere which will help you relax. Remind yourself that there is no pressure and no urgency, and that you are there for the sole reason of shared sensuality, to make your way across the body that you love from a different angle and in a different light.
Reassure yourself that any troubles can definitely wait an hour or two, and that right now you are completely free. Your sex won’t be simply a case of mission accomplished, it will be slow and with full awareness, for the pleasure of being there, together, sharing a thousand sensations!
So how exactly do we do it?
Once the setting is ready, slow sex is all about putting on the brakes. There is no rush, so take your time. Begin by long kisses. Then undress millimetre by millimetre, concentrating on the effect of an item of clothing slipping off, and on your partner’s skin, running over it with the tips of your fingers. Try massages and caressing areas we often forget about, such as the base of the back or the neck. The whole body is potentially erogenous, so take the time to discover it slowly.
Continue to ask yourself what you’re feeling, when their hands graze you here or there… Use your five senses: what touch tells you, but also smell, sound, sight and taste. In this magical way you will forget about the duty to perform and to climax, which can lead you to think only about the after, what it is necessary to do next and what your partner is waiting for.
On the contrary, you are experiencing the moment fully because you are taking the time to get to know your partner, dissect them and see them more closely. And when orgasm arrives many minutes later, it will surprise you and will be more intense.
Try the idea out with a square of chocolate: taste it slowly, inspect it beforehand, breathe it, feel it in your mouth. Isn’t that better than just swallowing it down quickly after a coffee?
Over to you!