Less and less of a taboo, anal sex has made an appearance in many beds: 53% of women had given it a try by 2019*, a number that has quadrupled since 1970. So, for our readers: how do we calm our apprehension and get prepared to satisfy our curiosity (and much more)?
Be confident in your craving
For a pleasurable experience, our consent and desire are paramount. Rushing to try anal sex is useless if you don’t strongly desire it (or if you’re only doing it to please a partner). It’s essential to ask ourselves if we’re sure we want to and if we want to right now.
To become more confident in our desires, here are a few more questions to ask ourselves: with whom do I want to do it? How do I want it? How do I imagine this experience? Do I truly want to, or do I just wish I wanted to? We don’t have to write a dissertation, but these questions help us define and discover our true desires.
A bit of hygiene goes a long way
It isn’t a glamorous question, but it’s one that’s on all our minds: what are the chances we’ll encounter some fecal matter during anal sex? It’s true that our bums were made to pass stool, but it’s not as if it’s always lying in wait. Extremely rigorous cleaning isn’t necessary. Some people may prefer to use an enema beforehand but taking a thorough shower will suffice for most (always externally). It is important, however, not to head straight for anal penetration right after a trip to the bathroom. Once we let a few hours pass and relax our muscles, we’ll be ready to go!
It should also be noted that following anal sex with vaginal sex is strongly discouraged, as it can lead to infection. If we want to have safe vaginal sex after coming from the back door, it’s imperative to remove the condom we used anally and exchange it for a new one. The same thing goes for sex toys!
Use appropriate (and ample) lubricant
The anus is full of nerves spark our sensations. Even so, it’s not a self-lubricating zone like the vagina. To ensure smooth sailing and avoid unpleasant friction, we need lube! Generally, anal sex lubricants are specifically designed to stay slippery longer than conventional lubes, which sometimes require reapplication (although taking breaks can extend our pleasure, too).
In any case, if using a condom, steer clear of oil-based lubricants and massage oils. Even when using anal plugs and other sex toys, water-based lubricants are the best choice for prolonging the life of our toys.
Take your time and go gently
When it comes to anal sex, going in at full-force isn’t the best strategy. Enjoyable anal sex involves lots of tenderness, especially when we first discover it – and tender touches shouldn’t be rushed. Getting in touch with and appreciating the sensations of the moment allow us to savor the sweetness of the experience. When we take our time, we can connect deeply with our partner and our new shared practice, which inspires tender emotions.
What about being tender with our bodies? Start by gently massaging the anus with a lube-covered finger while still stimulating other areas of the body. Anal sex isn’t about speed or going for it all at once. Don’t forget to tantalize other areas, as well – the breasts, belly, clitoris… Mind-blowing pleasure comes when all of our sensations unite.
What about anal plugs?
Anal sex is often discussed in regards to the couple, whether heterosexual or homosexual. However, it’s also incredibly enjoyable when practiced alone during masturbation! With an anal plug, created specifically to stimulate this zone, we can multiply our self-given sensations and discover a new source of pleasure.
Of course, anal plugs can also be used by couples in a sensual game or even as a preparation for anal sex. Our sexuality is for us to decide and everyone is free to follow their desires, ideas, and inspirations. That’s exactly what anal sex show us: sex is an intimate question that each of us answer in our own way!
*Survey by IFOP / ELLE, 2019