Your questions : "How to let it go uninhibit during sex ?"

Regularly, we deal here with the questions that you ask us on our Instagram account. Today, we are responding to a subscriber who would like to let go during sex for more ease and pleasure.

Letting go in bed, who doesn't want that? Behind this concept hides a promise, finally several: that of living the present moment but also that of taking more pleasure. Because when you let go, you throw away your negative thoughts, your complexes, your brakes. But concretely, how to go about it?

Start by letting go on a daily basis

What if to understand letting go, you first had to experience it on a daily basis? It's a very good exercise, a way to learn not to control everything, because the opposite of letting go is control. So day by day, try to relax on certain points: what if you sleep in? What if you left the dishes lying around in the sink until the next morning? Only seemingly small details that testify to our tendency to want to manage everything. When you train and you agree to "don't give a damn", you prepare at the same time to no longer control everything in bed, since you prove to yourself that "it feels good" .

Put negative thoughts on hold

Very often, a lot of negative thoughts prevent us from enjoying the current sexual relationship. Sometimes these thoughts have nothing to do with sex (I have to work, I haven't done the housework…), other times they only talk about sex (what if I was bad, ugly, clumsy?). To get rid of them, there is no need to castigate and reject them, they will come back. The ideal is rather to promise your thoughts that we are not far away: the less they feel unloved, the more they leave us alone. To keep them aside but free yourself from them (the compromise sought, therefore), visualize your thoughts in a box, or on a cloud, or even in a file to be dealt with "later" (after love, for example ). That way, you don't completely lose control, in fact you still have it, only you allow yourself a moment for yourself.

Bring your focus back to your organs and sensations

We know it: the more the excitement rises, the more we are quick to let go. Only, how can excitement escalate if we don't let go? The problem is complex, but the solution accessible: it is a question of focusing on the sensations, and more precisely on its sexual organs or, say, its erogenous zones. To do this, solicit your five senses and ask yourself, during a caress or a practice, what you feel, smell, hear, see, taste. This reflex allows you to reconnect to the present moment. The more you become aware of how you feel, the more your desire finds its place, and the more your desire finds its place, the more you surrender to the sexual act.

Preparing for sex

Preparing for sexual intercourse may seem a little disturbing: do you really have to anticipate a rapprochement that is intended to be spontaneous and surprising? Well yes, why not. Because the projections excite us (and the excitement, you have understood, leads to letting go), but also because “putting oneself in place” invites us to focus immediately on the relationship to come. So you can take a good shower before daydreaming, or even tidy up your room in order to accommodate an intimate moment. By being “already in”, you multiply the chances of “staying in”.

No longer think in the place of the other

Regularly, we think in the place of others, and this is all the more true during love, especially when we accuse some complexes. Since we only see them (this belly, these thighs, these breasts… etc.), we imagine that our partner sees only that. But no, he doesn't see that. He lives the moment for what it is, he observes a body and a spirit, a way of moving, of receiving and of giving. Hence the importance of no longer lending thoughts and a (negative) opinion to the person who shares a moment of pleasure with you.

Dare to orient the relationship at your ease

To feel more at ease, we can also listen to each other. It's silly to say, but it's far from negligible. It is better to redirect the relationship according to one's desires or limits than to "deal with" hoping to relax. If too many thoughts are assailing you and you can't get rid of them, why not suggest a break and discuss it with your partner to better resume? Why not, otherwise, turn off the light (because the dark reassures you)? Or even keep your t-shirt? One might think that these small strategies are counterproductive. On the contrary, they help to gain self-confidence and therefore to let go.